what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize