dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just high enough for therapy.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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