yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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