Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
well you can't waste a boner
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize