that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize