brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
