I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
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BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
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I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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