You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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