she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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