If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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