I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
where am i from again
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
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