Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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