Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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