I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
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