I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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