I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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