It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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