Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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