Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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