I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
