Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
