i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize