Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i out mim tonsoeep
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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