Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
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You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize