Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize