we have pet lesbian snakes
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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