dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize