I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize