I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
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