is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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