angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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