I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
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Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
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I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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