Texts From Last Night · Worst Nights of Today

Worst Nights of Today

Favorite
(703): View more from Virginia

Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(703): Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it. http://tfl.nu/ke8h

Replies (2) Good night (67) Bad night (250) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(818): View more from California

Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.

(818): View more from California

Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(818): Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history. (818): Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night. http://tfl.nu/hwf0

Replies (3) Good night (39) Bad night (220)
Favorite
(202): View more from Washington, DC

So how was the sex with me last night?

(703): View more from Virginia

No worse than usual.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(202): So how was the sex with me last night? (703): No worse than usual. http://tfl.nu/1snn

Replies (2) Good night (67) Bad night (206)
Favorite
(704): View more from North Carolina

She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.

(1-704): View more from North Carolina

1. Thanks. 2. No.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(704): She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister. (1-704): 1. Thanks. 2. No. http://tfl.nu/698u

Replies (2) Good night (58) Bad night (167)
Favorite
(419): View more from Ohio

So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(419): So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk? http://tfl.nu/8zbp

Replies (5) Good night (85) Bad night (163) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(502): View more from Kentucky

That shot was terrible

(1-502): View more from Kentucky

You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(502): That shot was terrible (1-502): You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up http://tfl.nu/89cf

Replies (0) Good night (43) Bad night (140) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(602): View more from Arizona

I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(602): I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth http://tfl.nu/mes3

Replies (3) Good night (40) Bad night (114) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(816): View more from Missouri

It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.

(314): View more from Missouri

The student becomes the teacher.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(816): It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar. (314): The student becomes the teacher. http://tfl.nu/thu8

Replies (1) Good night (134) Bad night (112)
Favorite
(562): View more from California

I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(562): I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!! http://tfl.nu/mwf9

Replies (3) Good night (177) Bad night (74) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(+46): View more from Sweden

Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+46): Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving http://tfl.nu/pqr1

Replies (3) Good night (346) Bad night (63) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(515): View more from Iowa

I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(515): I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone" http://tfl.nu/9mhp

Replies (3) Good night (215) Bad night (62)
Favorite
(936): View more from Texas

We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(936): We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by. http://tfl.nu/7uma

Replies (1) Good night (197) Bad night (62)
Favorite
(+92): View more from

Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+92): Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from? http://tfl.nu/pk33

Replies (1) Good night (80) Bad night (50) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(330): View more from Ohio

Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(330): Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors. http://tfl.nu/c683

Replies (0) Good night (126) Bad night (48) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(817): View more from Texas

Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(817): Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one? http://tfl.nu/bc4f

Replies (3) Good night (136) Bad night (48) Order T-Shirt

Worst Nights of Today

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: