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I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
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