Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Follow @tfln