Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Virginia (540)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.

  (540): View more from Virginia

  you also need to get my treadmill fixed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours. (540): you also need to get my treadmill fixed. http://tfl.nu/v31c
  Replies (7) Good night (807) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present? http://tfl.nu/y1uu
  Replies (22) Good night (1674) Bad night (547) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica http://tfl.nu/lleg
  Replies (2) Good night (1810) Bad night (367) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA http://tfl.nu/16eo
  Replies (2) Good night (1544) Bad night (400) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night. http://tfl.nu/isgy
  Replies (1) Good night (446) Bad night (761) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night? http://tfl.nu/328v
  Replies (9) Good night (2411) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners. http://tfl.nu/0hks
  Replies (4) Good night (1573) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove. http://tfl.nu/z4wf
  Replies (10) Good night (1382) Bad night (445) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed http://tfl.nu/1r9l
  Replies (25) Good night (1702) Bad night (792) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world. (540): I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him. http://tfl.nu/0ulc
  Replies (6) Good night (566) Bad night (1520)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad. http://tfl.nu/cg55
  Replies (4) Good night (1296) Bad night (413) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time. http://tfl.nu/t7e6
  Replies (11) Good night (579) Bad night (1002) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived. http://tfl.nu/ouvr
  Replies (8) Good night (2492) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day. http://tfl.nu/y889
  Replies (7) Good night (694) Bad night (1569) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures. http://tfl.nu/hix2
  Replies (8) Good night (1806) Bad night (511) Order T-Shirt