it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
