Texts From Last Night · 100proofwoman's Favorites

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100proofwoman's Favorites Texts:

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(904): View more from Florida

My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.

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(416): View more from Toronto

He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.

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