Texts From Last Night

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  (971): View more from Oregon

  you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON

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  (971): you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON http://tfl.nu/6e6p
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  (518): View more from New York

  There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."

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  (518): There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina." http://tfl.nu/mvmf
  Replies (2) Good night (495) Bad night (51)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.

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  (416): cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home. http://tfl.nu/bx4b
  Replies (3) Good night (478) Bad night (102)
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  (438): View more from Quebec

  I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.

  (1-438): View more from Quebec

  God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.

  (438): View more from Quebec

  Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss

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  (438): I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents. (1-438): God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol. (438): Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss http://tfl.nu/li35
  Replies (2) Good night (393) Bad night (81)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??

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  (610): So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night?? http://tfl.nu/qtcd
  Replies (1) Good night (388) Bad night (83)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.

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  (252): We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day. http://tfl.nu/bkmj
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.

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  (201): I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever. http://tfl.nu/v0jl
  Replies (1) Good night (333) Bad night (73) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas

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  (303): I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas http://tfl.nu/dh3n
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.

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  (501): I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT. http://tfl.nu/wa70
  Replies (2) Good night (300) Bad night (122)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??

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  (613): Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea?? http://tfl.nu/5r0c
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night

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  (717): i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night http://tfl.nu/ncnb
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED

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  (570): WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED http://tfl.nu/najp
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."

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  (570): You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG." http://tfl.nu/j0ai
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.

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  (479): He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish. http://tfl.nu/o2hu
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."

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  (417): Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS." http://tfl.nu/riik
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