no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
