So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just used a chaser for red wine.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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