yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize