You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
