I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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