capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
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A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
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We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize