I am in a vortex of obligation.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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