Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
