Texts From Last Night

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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.

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  (920): good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs. http://tfl.nu/xjrr
  Replies (37) Good night (3690) Bad night (1162)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore

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  (210): i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore http://tfl.nu/ys1g
  Replies (40) Good night (3681) Bad night (1178)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".

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  (864): long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube". http://tfl.nu/njsb
  Replies (8) Good night (3285) Bad night (1027)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America

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  (513): just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America http://tfl.nu/08yj
  Replies (23) Good night (7129) Bad night (1502)
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  (716): View more from New York

  is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?

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  (716): is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex? http://tfl.nu/cm27
  Replies (14) Good night (909) Bad night (4002)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.

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  (620): Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid. http://tfl.nu/58do
  Replies (17) Good night (998) Bad night (4261)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  That's yours. We cut you off.

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  (715): Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off? (651): That's yours. We cut you off. http://tfl.nu/7df9
  Replies (3) Good night (3973) Bad night (969)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.

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  (575): She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on. http://tfl.nu/epik
  Replies (2) Good night (1788) Bad night (627)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.

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  (313): Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had. http://tfl.nu/aqg4
  Replies (0) Good night (1262) Bad night (532)
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  (408): View more from California

  You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.

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  (408): You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you. http://tfl.nu/r2tt
  Replies (2) Good night (1493) Bad night (534)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.

  (281): View more from Texas

  That does show growth.

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  (832): This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex. (281): That does show growth. http://tfl.nu/3swa
  Replies (1) Good night (989) Bad night (499)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.

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  (678): Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on. http://tfl.nu/4vca
  Replies (1) Good night (1192) Bad night (325)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?

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  (605): seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys? http://tfl.nu/ijfs
  Replies (9) Good night (832) Bad night (411)
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  (212): View more from New York

  be right there i have to get my cape

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  (212): be right there i have to get my cape http://tfl.nu/i9cb
  Replies (2) Good night (768) Bad night (210)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.

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  (770): One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him. http://tfl.nu/gw4o
  Replies (4) Good night (533) Bad night (225)

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