Texts From Last Night

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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.

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  (606): I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now. <3 Russia http://tfl.nu/k3de
  Replies (72) Good night (6603) Bad night (803)
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  (646): View more from New York

  I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"

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  (646): I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive" http://tfl.nu/8zeu
  Replies (19) Good night (1924) Bad night (4146)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.

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  (609): You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics. http://tfl.nu/ug0s
  Replies (6) Good night (1170) Bad night (3510)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.

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  (832): i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week. http://tfl.nu/mv1q
  Replies (64) Good night (1100) Bad night (10936)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.

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  (613): You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese. http://tfl.nu/lvqg
  Replies (9) Good night (4709) Bad night (923)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...

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  (303): It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively... http://tfl.nu/4ljl
  Replies (3) Good night (983) Bad night (2876)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.

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  (410): 260 beers this month. I need a new hobby. http://tfl.nu/ixdv
  Replies (37) Good night (3805) Bad night (1490)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.

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  (617): you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on. http://tfl.nu/kzav
  Replies (4) Good night (1236) Bad night (4930)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table

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  (508): Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table http://tfl.nu/id1h
  Replies (10) Good night (4494) Bad night (1163)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.

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  (281): I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car. http://tfl.nu/4osg
  Replies (8) Good night (583) Bad night (1638)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave

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  (608): not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave http://tfl.nu/ay74
  Replies (5) Good night (1864) Bad night (788)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?

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  (615): When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend? http://tfl.nu/p92h
  Replies (17) Good night (2723) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.

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  (281): NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME. http://tfl.nu/v341
  Replies (5) Good night (1236) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?

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  (414): I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow? http://tfl.nu/a756
  Replies (2) Good night (836) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  i think i just asked a donut if it was ok

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  (503): i think i just asked a donut if it was ok http://tfl.nu/mr7m
  Replies (2) Good night (686) Bad night (319)

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