Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...

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  (313): Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends... http://tfl.nu/38n2
  Replies (15) Good night (1694) Bad night (832)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.

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  (303): So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl. http://tfl.nu/7x7a
  Replies (4) Good night (1265) Bad night (700)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Call me "white mamba"

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake

  (251): View more from Alabama

  It is white.

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  (251): Call me "white mamba" (334): Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake (251): It is white. http://tfl.nu/1p0c
  Replies (5) Good night (1218) Bad night (1642)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!

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  (703): I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww! http://tfl.nu/rzts
  Replies (89) Good night (1017) Bad night (13987)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."

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  (918): at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes." http://tfl.nu/aef0
  Replies (11) Good night (731) Bad night (3112)
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  (518): View more from New York

  for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt

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  (518): for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt http://tfl.nu/1w5z
  Replies (11) Good night (986) Bad night (3060)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?

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  (971): I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo? http://tfl.nu/aefb
  Replies (11) Good night (4439) Bad night (931)
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  (340): View more from US Virgin Islands

  I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.

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  (340): I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen. http://tfl.nu/cees
  Replies (25) Good night (4103) Bad night (1410)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket

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  (267): It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket http://tfl.nu/ws2m
  Replies (8) Good night (880) Bad night (1891)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.

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  (909): I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats. http://tfl.nu/jzu3
  Replies (10) Good night (885) Bad night (1285)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.

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  (734): Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life. http://tfl.nu/cgob
  Replies (3) Good night (1648) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.

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  (517): My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now. http://tfl.nu/dik7
  Replies (1) Good night (563) Bad night (379)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...

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  (920): So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works... http://tfl.nu/tg33
  Replies (5) Good night (563) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.

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  (256): Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards. http://tfl.nu/ejyy
  Replies (2) Good night (994) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...

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  (204): I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole... http://tfl.nu/hsw3
  Replies (0) Good night (448) Bad night (249)

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