I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
