Texts From Last Night

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  (210): View more from Texas

  Hey it's Austin.

  (254): View more from Texas

  I am not drunk enough for this conversation.

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  (210): Hey it's Austin. (254): I am not drunk enough for this conversation. http://tfl.nu/124v
  Replies (29) Good night (972) Bad night (1936)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Tie

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  (201): I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet (908): I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building (201): Tie http://tfl.nu/a5wy
  Replies (97) Good night (43623) Bad night (1465)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.

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  (201): Having kids is risky. They might end up weird. http://tfl.nu/gtfl
  Replies (16) Good night (1073) Bad night (1909) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race

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  (207): she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race http://tfl.nu/f3bd
  Replies (17) Good night (503) Bad night (3280) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes

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  (864): her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes http://tfl.nu/t8i7
  Replies (9) Good night (1654) Bad night (3958) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...

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  (701): My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this... http://tfl.nu/7jfd
  Replies (70) Good night (6152) Bad night (1109)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.

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  (203): after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet. (1-203): your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd. http://tfl.nu/5pti
  Replies (12) Good night (4657) Bad night (1621)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.

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  (508): I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long. http://tfl.nu/opva
  Replies (15) Good night (1352) Bad night (2760) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests

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  (917): On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests http://tfl.nu/0vji
  Replies (7) Good night (3058) Bad night (1773) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.

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  (651): Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle. http://tfl.nu/f80s
  Replies (12) Good night (974) Bad night (728) Order T-Shirt
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.

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  (606): only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding. http://tfl.nu/lmd6
  Replies (28) Good night (1766) Bad night (1619) Order T-Shirt
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.

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  (224): That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass. http://tfl.nu/rpga
  Replies (11) Good night (543) Bad night (970) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round

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  (215): there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round http://tfl.nu/fnz0
  Replies (5) Good night (835) Bad night (345) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck

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  (+44): it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck http://tfl.nu/0y2l
  Replies (6) Good night (1820) Bad night (364) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.

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  (501): I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT. http://tfl.nu/wa70
  Replies (2) Good night (363) Bad night (145)

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