Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."