I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
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I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.