They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Send us your Text From Last Night!
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....